Feel Your Heartbeat
by coinoperatedbecca
Summary: Everyday was painfully the same.  It was Jack, his profession, and his scotch.  Until she came and turned his world around.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own To Kill A Mockingbird, or any of the familiar characters- Harper Lee is the mastermind behind all of that!

A/N: I'm not sure if anyone has noticed, but I deleted 'The Light at the End'; that does not mean that I have just given up on that story, but as I was going through it I decided that I wanted to re-write it, since I hadn't worked with it for such a long time. Last night I intended on doing that re-write, and wrote this instead. I've always been fascinated by Jack, despite the fact that he wasn't in the book for a long amount of time, and I'm rather disappointed by the lack of Jack-centric fics on here, so I decided to change that. "The Light at the End' will probably be making it's return in the next week or two ;D. Thanks for reading!

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><p>As of recently, Jack would rather choose to seclude himself in his father's dim study with the bottle of scotch and his favorite glass. He sat in the swivel chair, spinning to each side with swift strokes, pressing the cool glass against his lips, letting the harsh liquid slowly drip down his throat. "Jack!" His older sister, Alexandra called her voice firm. He stopped spinning, as though that would get Alexandra to stop calling for him. "Jack, come to the living room now! I'm not going to hunt you down."<p>

He looked at the last of the scotch at the bottom of the bottle and sighed. "It was good to see you, old friend," he whispered to it as he sloppily dumped it in his glass before downing it. He slowly removed himself from the chair and left the study.

"Oh Jack," Alexandra sighed disappointingly. "You haven't been shaving; you look like you live on the streets!"

From behind Alexandra, Jack heard his brother Atticus chuckle. "You could hardly tell he hasn't shaved,"

"Elizabeth's family has come for dinner," Alexandra told Jack with a smile (one that was, like most of them, presumably fake). "So go sit with our company."

When Jack arrived home last week, Atticus and Elizabeth had announced their engagement. Just about five years ago, the Grahams had moved to the old Buford house after their father died, to take care of their Mrs. Grahams (nee Buford) mother, whose health had been quickly deteriorating. Jack peered into the sitting room to see his brother-in-law sitting to himself, Atticus sitting with Elizabeth on the two seater, and three other women sitting in various places around the room. He took a deep breath.

While he was able to become more acquainted with Elizabeth because of her relationship with Atticus, Jack's absence in New York made it so he was completely unfamiliar with the women who lived so close to his family home. Awkwardly, he made his way into the living room. Elizabeth, who had to be at least fifteen years younger than his brother, stood up from her seat and wrapped him in a ginger hug. "It's nice to see you again, Jack," She said with a smile on her face. In the short time that he knew her, he never saw her when she wasn't smiling. "I want to introduce you again to my mother, and my sisters Louise, and Margaret." She motioned to each of woman as she introduced them.

"I think the facial hair is becoming," one the sisters—Louise, he guessed (he figured it wouldn't hurt as he had a fifty-fifty chance), smirked as she crossed her arms. "I spent some time studying in Europe and all the men there don't shave their faces." She chuckled, but no one else seemed to respond.

"What were you studying there, erm," He began to ask, but he paused as he realized he wasn't entirely sure who she was.

"I'm Louise," she laughed, her eyes sparkling. "And I was studying poetry. I won a scholarship by submitting my work to a magazine for a contest."

"That sounds nice," Jack said as he sat down on the only vacant seat, the stool behind his mother's old piano.

He had barely spoken through dinner, he answered questions when they were asked of him, but for the most part he sat there, chuckling when everyone laughed, and looked as though he was being attentive to what everyone was saying.

When everyone had eaten themselves to submission with the delicacies that Alexandra had made and slowly filed back into the living room, Jack retreated to the kitchen. He poured himself another glass of scotch, and went to the backyard. He leaned against the fence, closed his eyes, and absorbed the warm summer breeze.

"I was wonderin' where you disappeared to," a voice said from behind him. His eyes shot open as he glanced over and saw Louise, standing as still as a statue. Unlike Elizabeth, there was no natural smile on her face. She looked past him with a firm, tense stare.

"Did they send you to come fetch me?" He asked in a dry voice.

"Oh, no," she said, her eyes coming back to him.

"So you came to spy on me?" He inquired.

"No," She said dully. "I'm afraid I'm not a people person."

"Most of them are your family," he chuckled.

"And it's your family's house," she retaliated.

"Touché, my dear," He lifted his glass as a salute before taking a swig of his drink.

She drew closer to him, and sat on the short wooden fence. "You're very fond of that stuff, aren't you?" She asked.

"How could you have possibly guessed?"

"You smell like my dad did," She said. "And he drank it like it was water. The doctors said that's why he had his heart attack so early on in life."

"I'm a doctor," He said firmly. "And I'm perfectly alright."

She laughed and covered her mouth with her hand. "That made absolutely no sense," She said, taking the glass out of his grasp. "I'm positive you had enough, you're not makin' any sense," She added quickly when he glared at her.

"I'm the one who determines whether I had enough or not," He told her as she held the glass out of his grasp. She smirked at him as she hopped off of the fence. She held the glass in both of her hands, as though she was holding something precious or holy, and looked at remaining liquid in the glass before she downed it. But, as quick as she drank it, it came flying out of her mouth. Jack laughed as the glass dropped to the ground and she choked. Her face turned red as she coughed into her hands. "That's what you get," He teased. "You shouldn't have taken it from me."

"You're the devil," She said, picking the glass up from the ground. He chuckled as she sat herself on the fence again. She handed him the empty glass.

"You're just not accustomed to hard liquors." He told her.

"And it's quite obvious that you are." She stated, matter-of-factly.

"Jean Louise?" Mrs. Graham called from the house. "Jean Louise we're leaving!" She looked absolutely mortified while he laughed even harder.

"_Jean_ Louise?" He laughed. "_Jean_?"

With her teeth clenched, she hopped off the fence. "If I hear you call me that again, Jack Finch, you'll pay!" She exclaimed as she retreated to the house. He stood there, against the old fence, gazing into the empty glass.

"The nerve!" Alexandra exclaimed from the doorway, making him jump up. "You completely disappear after dinner, and don't even say goodbye to our guests!"

Jack rolled his eyes. "I'm sure my absence didn't bother them any."

"That is not the point," Jack snorted as she said this. "They were your company. I'm disappointed."

She turned swiftly, and retreated into the kitchen. Jack sighed. She was always disappointed in one way or another whenever he was home. She wasn't his mother, he shouldn't care if she was embarrassed by his tendencies or not, if she was disappointed in him. But, part of him did care. He lifted the glass to his lips to realize it was empty.

"I'm going home for the night, brother," Atticus said as he leaned against the fence next to Jack. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon after work, there's a case that's just wrappin' up that I need to work on."

Jack nodded. "It was a nice dinner," he said.

Atticus laughed. "You barely said two words, brother," Atticus patted his shoulder firmly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He followed his brother back into the kitchen, where Alexandra was fighting the grease off of her pots. "Stop doin' that," Jack said as he placed his glass on the table. "I'll take care of that, go to bed." She stopped what she was doing and faced her brother. Her harsh features added to her intimidating nature.

"Thank you," She said bluntly as she wiped her hands on her apron. "I'll see you tomorrow, Atticus."

"Goodnight, sister," He said. "Goodnight, Jack."

"Night, Atticus." Jack said as he approached the pot in the sink.

Alexandra sighed. "Look," she said as Atticus left. "I apologize," She began to wring her hands; Alexandra was not one who willingly admitted that she was wrong. "You were lovely at dinner tonight."

He wanted to laugh, but held it back knowing that if he did Alexandra would absolutely lose it, especially since she was _trying_ to apologize. "Thank you, sister," He said, looking into the sudsy water at the bottom of the pot.

"I'll see you in the morning," She said, and moments later she was out of the kitchen and he was left alone with the dirty pots.


	2. Chapter 2

The following day, Alexandra had company. Little did he know that this company was all ladies, including Maudie Atkinson, Stephanie Crawford, and the Graham girls. He cringed as he walked past them, even scruffier than he was yesterday; still wearing the clothes he slept in. He walked by them quickly, hoping they wouldn't notice that he was there. But, when he heard them laughing, he knew he was sighted. "Well isn't it Jack Finch!" He heard Maudie cackle from the other room. "Up to no good as usual?"

Jack turned around and came back into the living room. "Oh Maudie!" He exclaimed. "I was just so overcome with love for you I just had to run away before I made a fool of myself."

"You're stark-raving mad," Maudie said as the ladies laughed.

"I'll fight Robert for your hand," He winked.

"I'm sure he'll fancy that," Maudie snickered. "He likes fighting just as you desire a long term commitment."

Jack laughed. "Then clearly, Maudie, I'm in for some trouble because I have my eyes set on a long term commitment with _you_."

Maudie just laughed. "You know, you would have succeeded in making me blush if there was any sincerity behind it."

"Are you accusing me of not being sincere? _Me_, Maudie? Why, you know I have the truest heart."

"You seem just about as true as Elizabeth's dress is white," Louise said out of nowhere as she pointed to Elizabeth's _black_ dress. Jack gasped melodramatically.

"That stung, Miss _Jean_ Louise," He smirked as she made a face of utter disgust. Elizabeth laughed more than the other ladies.

"Just call him John, and he'll surely be quiet," Alexandra told her, and she giggled. "Jimmy took Henry fishing, Jack, you should join them."

Jack inhaled. If there were anything he disliked more than fishing, it was Alexandra's husband, Jimmy. He never did anything that outraged Jack, he just annoyed him. Jimmy barely spoke and was always sitting around or sleeping. His nephew, Henry, was an entirely different cup of tea. Jack had never met anyone so full of energy or himself before in his entire life. He thought he was just as good as God because he was going to school to be a journalist and thought he knew everything about everything. "What time is it, I might just wait around for Atticus to get here," He said slowly.

"Atticus won't be here for another two hours." She said. "They're not far, they're just at the creek, and they'll probably be there for a while."

He sighed. "Alright, alright," He said. "I'll be back later."

He trudged through the back yard and past the fence, unintentionally whacking himself in the back of the head with the fishing pole he carelessly held. The creek wasn't too far away from Finch Landing, and was the barrier between it and the Buford house. It didn't take him too long to find Jimmy and Henry, because Jimmy never went too far from the Landing out of pure laziness and Henry's boisterous voice could be heard from miles away. "Hey, Uncle Jack!" Henry said as he waved with his free hand. Jimmy, who had been sleeping on his folding chair and lazily holding his fishing pole in a loose grip, woke up from his slumber with a start. "Jack," he mumbled.

"You goin' fishing?" Henry asked as Jack planted his fishing rod in the ground.

"I'm here to go mountain climbing." He said dully as he sat down on the ground, a good distance away from Jimmy's spot.

"Why did you come then?" Henry asked impatiently.

"Women are devils." Jack covered his eyes with his forearm.

"I see you've been gettin' quite friendly with my scotch since you've been home," Jimmy grumbled. Jack ignored him.

He just laid there, his arm covering his eyes, and wasn't sure how much time had passed. He didn't know what was more painful, the sharp rock he was laying on top of, Jimmy's snoring, or Henry talking about the Treaty of Versailles. It was too painful to even imagine him being somewhere else.

"Well this looks like an eventful fishing trip," A female voice laughed. Jack blinked and sat up, Jimmy had woken up periodically, and Henry looked at Louise like she was some kind of enemy. "I mean it looks like Henry here is having all of the fun,"

"Good afternoon, Ms. Graham," he said in a stifled voice.

"What is a lady like you doing walking such a long distance without a chaperone?" Jack asked, faking a serious tone.

"In broad daylight, when I live five minutes away?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips. "I don't know where I've gotten the nerve, so scandalous. People'll probably think that I'm not a lady."

Jack stood up. "That's why I should escort you home, ma'am."

"When I live right there?" She asked, pointing to the distance.

"Oh yeah," He said, nodding his head. "Who knows what's lurking in these lands."

"If you insist," She said. "I mean, you're only wasting your time, Mr. Finch."

When they were far away enough from the fishing site, Jack let out a sigh of relief. "I couldn't be there another ten seconds let alone however longer they were going to be there."

"I excused myself from tea with the excuse that I had a headache," She chuckled to herself. "I just," and then she sighed. "I just don't like those things. The tea is just about as bland as the ladies. I don't mean anything against your sister, she's lovely, but I'd rather be doing something else—_anything_ else than sit around and drink tea and gossip. It's far too bland for my liking."

Jack laughed. "I wouldn't be able to handle it," He told her, and she shook her head.

"It drives me absolutely crazy," She replied. "I can't wait until I earn some money and then I'll go back to Montgomery for the rest of my life and I'll do what I like and not drink tea and wear pants—"

Jack erupted into uncontrollable laughter. "Those are some goals—no tea and wearing pants. Oh, that sounds like the life."

"You don't know what it's like to be a woman!" She cried, scowling at him. "You don't have to wear these stupid constraining skirts everyday of your life, unless you want to be seen as some sort of harlot or wild child. I can't even tell you how many times Mrs. Dubose told my mother I would be deemed to hell for the way I dressed and acted since we moved here, it's killing me. And I'm quite certain that your sister is not too fond of me. Little does she know, Elizabeth and I are two peas in a pod—she just has more self control."

"Don't worry, I don't even think Alexandra likes me," Jack joked. "She's very… uptight." He chuckled again.

"Well," She said quietly. "We've survived the long journey to my home; I'm going to go pretend that I am stricken down with a headache so nobody catches on to what I'm doing. Oh, how ever could I thank you for guiding me safely? Who knows what could have happened to me if I didn't have you to be such a gentleman?"

"You probably would have tripped over my brother in law as he slept his life away, or Henry would have spoken your ears off and you would have to make your way home deaf." He replied sarcastically.

"Oh, I'm so glad I avoided that," She said, as she shook her head. "I'm bound to see you later, Jack." She said as she entered the house.

On his way home, he absorbs the quiet, taking advantage of it before he was forced back into the real world of spending time with his sister and her family. There was just five more days until he was back I Boston, just five more days. Then he wouldn't have to worry about home, or Alexandra, or anything for three months when Thanksgiving rolled around, and then Christmas, and then Atticus' wedding in the spring will take the place of his week-long visit in the summer.

And there he would be alone. Alone in the same mundane routine of taking care of patients, going home, and being alone—alone with his scotch. For the better part of a year now he debated about getting a cat or something that would make a little noise in his apartment, but for some reason he always hesitated. Being alone, however, was better than living with Alexandra, which was something he decided a long time ago. His visits home were enough for him.

His pace slowed as he walked through the backyard and opened the door to the kitchen. Alexandra was the only one in there, slaving over the stove as she did every day. "Where were you?" She asked, not looking at him. "Jimmy and Henry were home ages ago, and they said you walked off."

He shrugged. "Went to the Buford place."

"Why ever would you go there?" She asked, as though they were talking about hell.

He shrugged again as Elizabeth entered, holding some of the tea glasses from earlier. "Louise had a headache," He said as he remembered her fake reason for leaving the party. "She ran into us when she was on her way home, and looked poor so I walked her back so she wouldn't pass out on her way home or anything."

"That's so nice," Elizabeth said before Alexandra could respond. She walked across the kitchen with the tea cups and put them in the sink. "I'm sure she appreciates that very much. That was the last of the mess we left in the living room, Alexandra. Is there anything you need me to do?"

"No," Alexandra said rather harshly before pausing. "Uh, I have everything under control, Elizabeth." Her tone was softer. Jack looked at Elizabeth, who looked rather disappointed, before she said: "Alright, just call for me if you need me," before she left for the living room. He slowly got up from his chair, and followed her.

"Atticus isn't home yet," She told him as he sat down in his father's old armchair. "There's a case comin' up and he's been workin' extra."

"He mentioned that last night before he left," He said.

"I don't think she likes me." She whispered, as she looked down at her lap.

"What?" He asked, and she looked up with a worried expression on her face.

"I don't think your sister likes me," She swallowed. "I really want her to. She doesn't let me help with anything whenever I'm here, and I don't know," she sighed. "I try really hard."

He gave her a small smile. "Don't worry about that," He said. "That's just how she is; she's hard-headed and stubborn and likes control. She likes you; she just has her own way of showin' it."

She was quiet. She just looked at him, biting her lower lip. Even though he only spent time with her whenever he was visiting, and didn't get to know her very well, there was never a time where he saw her like this. She was always happy, always smiling. He sighed at length.

"My sister didn't have a headache," She admitted. "She doesn't usually do things like what we did this morning."

Jack laughed. "I know," He said. "She didn't put on an act or anything; I don't like fishing so I saw that as a quick escape." Elizabeth smiled.

"Hey," He said as he leaned into the chair a little. "Have you ever heard of a minister who didn't like preachin'?" She shook her head. He laughed a little before he began to tell her a story he heard a long time ago that involved a minister and a hookah.


End file.
